carol's scribbles

Story 1

Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one.

Story 2

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show itto her. So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new carto his girlfriend. "This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!""Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian."Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!" So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored theaccelerator.The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post."Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng."Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"*

Story 3

The T! itanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed. To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until hecame up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

Story 4

Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge andwanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread).The DJ told them that they only have English songs and toldthem to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry andkicked up a big fuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally,after long talk with Ah Bengs manager found out that Ah Bengsactually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by theRighteous Brothers.

Story 5

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to getdown to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see thenumber 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter Gmean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finallyreached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian,"Wah low!!!, how you know one?" The first Ah Lian replysmugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."