Friday, May 30, 2008

After looooong wait...almost a month since langkawi trip.... then my good news in a white envelope came... I'm called for an interview in Melaka-Manipal Medical College!!! MMMC for short or... M3C

I'm thrilled and so excited!!! Yet I'm in a little dilemma...mmm...should I be going and leave my comfort zone for a totally different environment?
It's a big risk and adaptations to this new environment is totally a great challenge..greater than any I've had in this 19 years of mine.

I drove on and on without stopping yesterday. Taking extra long roads and detours from my usual path home. I've been thinking so much about my past life, my current life and my future life. Everything I've done and everyone I knew in my lifetime kept twirling in my mind. Flashing on and off my memories. I did everything I could to avoid tears flooding my eyes. i just don't know why nowadays I cry easily. Little things could just trigger my tear duct to overwork. I guess I have been underworking them for so long and this is the way they repay their master.

Today I watched a drama and I cried and cried non-stop. Good advice that carrere gave yesterday;just watch a touching movie to camouflage the real reason behind your tears.i just hate to cry in front of people. I want to cry behind a veil. Hidden from the world that stares at you like you are some kind of crybaby.

i hate myself for being that emotional. If feew years back, i would be seen dead than crying my heart out. I've never worn my heart out on my sleeves and never would I've told myself. I must stay strong and face all the obstacles because I know this is a journey I have to begin myself and no one will be there to hold me if I fall again before the end of line.

i think this post does not sound like me at ad.

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