Monday, July 13, 2009

Physiology Practical Nightmare

I just came back from a nightmarish practical examination

It consist of two performance test which I have to perform on a subject(patient) aka.some unknown tempe that I think they just pay to do it..Sit there act patient..*smart way to earn money*

and there are eight more stations where there’ll be some graph or pictures or questions to answer

So smart carol started with station 2 which is spirometry ( graph that depicts ur lung capacity*jeng jeng jeng* confidently answer and smirked at opposite neighbour to show off..oh so easy

Then come station 3, renal(kidney) function.Mmmm panicked a shit…formula formula tubular load,excretory rate,urine flow rate, urine concentration of substance X…*mind raced through the formula I read just a moment ago outside the multipurpose lab* Then started calculation…and secretion by renal tubular! err…doubt for a moment then shud be ok..carol lee dun think so much

Then station 4, Cushing syndrome.Shit i think i just wrote decrease secretion of ACTH ARGH!! shit 1 mark gone

Then station 5,performance station.Heart races a bit.Shit i’m having palpation. Scanned the sheet of white paper which lies my fate of 3 marks.Oh thank god. Measure BP by palpation method.GREAT!!

*walked in confidently into the cubicle hidden by those green partition you find in hospitals… Good morning.I’m going to do the palpation method to check your BP. Picked up the sphygmomanometer * cheh showing of some medical tongue twister*  Hold tempe’s arm and check for brachial pulse.Then wrapped the deflated arm tube over it. Then start palpate for radial pulse ( like to TVB old chinese manchurian drama inside got those “chung yi”-- err chinese medicine doctor. Tested it 3 times to double check…ok 110mmHg sir :) Grins broadly as i walked out.cheh so easy summore i remember to tell patient thank you :)

Then next station is rest station.Lip SHeng did his BP and sat across me. He was mumbling something.Couldnt catch wat he said but I know he was hinting about next station. Couldnt be bothered.Scared I kena tangkap for cheating:P

anyway, next station 6, ovulation by temperature method. So to educate the women and families out there, if you plan to have  a baby pls ask ur wife or if you are a woman, consistently keep a diary of your temperature. Measure it when you wake up in the morning, dont do anything yet. Wake up and measure. Better result, measure it without getting out of bed which means you have to keep the thermometer at bedside. Track your body temperature it should remain constant at about 36.5 to 37 degree Celsius (not Fahrenheit) Then the day you noticed increased temperature by about 0.5 to 1 degree you may have erm … sexual intercourse ( coitus) lol there’s an increase chance of getting pregnant because you just ovulated mah…form 5 also got learn lo…

anyway next station 7 cant rmb

station 8 stupid can I change my answer! stupid carol..think think think so much…bodoh punye budak…3 marks gone…blardy @$%@$##%$@^%#$^#@%$#%@

station 9 sensory ataxia.Oh shit..performance test..errr think think carol think what sensory ataxia…incoordination of movement..errr upper limb test rapid alternating movement?? shit shit..walk into the cubicle.The best part? the examiner himself took this topic for us. He must be eager to see how many students fail to master this portion that he taught. Gosh Gosh.

Carol to patient: So I’m going to do this test on you……………….

*paused for about 30 seconds which is pretty long when you have a patient and an examiner staring down at you..staring up in this case..they are both sitting..ermmm… ok carol’s pathetic brain keep flashing through the pages of her practical manual..stops at the page.ahh found it sensory ataxia..what is down there…the titile in bold…AHHH ROMBERG’S TEST!!!!

Yay!!! Sir…can you please stand for me.Put your legs together and close your eyes please. Yay!! Turned to sir, Sir!! No swaying sir! sensory ataxia absent. ROmberg’s sign negative. Hmmm nods.. What are the romberg’s test significance? Confidently blurt out cerebellar lesion. Examiner stares back…cerebellar lesion ??  Stupid.. summore say again…Yeah cerebellar *thought to myself,maybe he heard cerebral lesion* Then pause oh wait…. equilibrium…DORSAL COLUMN LESION!!! Then examiner nodded OK… passed…maybe will minus mark for this…but at least i didn do anything else that is wrong..I remember hearing some people whacking the tuning fork which is for auditory test( hearing test) wah….then the fella ma wrong kau kau?


smiling again went to last station. Oh great microscope. Scanned it, adjusted the focus and voila…my pretty eosinophil came in focus. Happy wrote. Eosinophil, 1-4% in circulation Paused shit what is cause of eosinophilia( high eosinophil count) just read this morning..confused with so many disorders then just trusted instinct of my memory that remembered it to be bronchial asthma..or was it typhoid fever..gosh…then rmb typhoid fever supposed to be for eosinopenia ( low eosinophil count) aiya pun only la…trusting my heart

Then looked up , smiled and frown a little *doubtful face* LIpSHeng mouthed 50-70% huh? aint that for neutrophil? Isnt it multilobed?? Check the miscrope again No ah distinct bilobed…scans the brain again..YEs…CONFIRM EOSINOPHIL…frown at LipSHeng again.He mouthed 50-70% again..SUddenly lecturer shouted NO TALKING!! shhhh… paiseh…caught red-handed but not like he helped me also…im so sure he’s wrong..

then SOmething clicked in his brain! OH OH! then after they collected papers…Lipsheng said “ oh you save my life” thank you keep reapeating that i saved his life… But i burnt mine!!! Stupid acromegaly…why did i change my bloody answer! STupid CAROL ! ARGHHH

10.30am – Dissection Hall Anatomy revision Fine…go study now…zzzzzz

til next..carol

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