carol's scribbles

He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for you to
believe me so quickly." He winced. "That was… excruciating."

I waited, still frozen.

"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—"

I didn't allow myself to remember. I fought to keep myself in the present second only.

"You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would
kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just
take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would
you."


"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible—that
you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the
seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a
worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didn't work.
I'm sorry.
"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let
one word break your faith in me?"

I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response.

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd,
ridiculous concept—as if there were anu way that I could exist without needing you!"

I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible.

He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little.

"Bella," he sighed. "Really, what were you thinking!"

And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks.

"I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."

"You're impossible," he said, and he laughed once—a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that
you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved
you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I
was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual pale—I could see that even
in the dim light. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you to love me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."

His eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened.

"I'll prove you're awake," he promised.


i'M OFFICIALLY IN LOVE WITH TWILIGHT

PLEASE STOP ME FROM READING BOOK 3 THIS VERY MOMENT

I NEED TO DO MY PRESENTATION

PLEASE TAKE THE LAPTOP AWAY

TAKE EDWARD CULLEN'S MESMERIZING SPELL AWAY

PLEASE DO

REALLY DO